jackassery | (no subject)

but that is actually not what i wanted to talk to you about!

as much as i know, if that's how you feel.

6ut i won't distract you. what is it you wished to speak with me a6out?

uh, i guess my first question is kind of weird.
how are you so nice?
i mean, karkat's nougaty center is not a secret to anyone, but you are nougat on the outside too, it is crazy.
yeah, that was definitely weird.
whatever.
does that mean karkat is going to grow up to be super nice?
haha, somehow i can't picture that.
or maybe you grow up to be a super jerk.
nope, still not picturing it!
i am rambling.

but i guess the blood stuff is important to talk about too, since i am still trying to wrap my head around it.

i 6elieve he inherited somethin9 i lost
6ut that would 6e a 6it hard for me to explain any further.

i can only speculate, 6ut it seems our vast differences in attitude may 6e circumstantial.
he and i had very different up6rin9ings
and i'm afraid his may have 6een more difficult than mine.
as i understand it, he had a lusus, while my custodian was a troll
i was very lucky.

so it's like you had a human parent relationship.

i 6elieve so, althou9h without the male parent fi9ure.

that is ok, not all humans have both, and they end up just fine.
but that makes you pretty unique, doesn't it?
being raised by another troll, i mean.

there were many who considered it unnatural, 6ut i 6elieve it was 6etter than 6ein9 raised 6y a lusus.
the lusii have their place, 6ut i think it's much more 6eneficial to communicate with a mem6er of your race as you 9row rather than a species that has to stru99le to understand you 6ecause you're so inherently different.

wwho wwas it thats not in the books either

insofar as the hemospectrum, you and i share the same pro6lem.
6ut if you have 9uestions, i'll answer them as 6est i can.

all of my questions pretty much start and end with why, which i bet would make them pretty hard to answer.
it is why i haven't bothered any of the trolls i know with it.
also because i know the douchiest ones would jump in and make it weird.
i just don't understand why it needs to exist?
i get that social order is important, that is why we have laws and stuff, but...
it just seems like prejudice and that never ends well.
i have not heard of anyone using it for good reasons, just to make someone feel worse or to justify their shitty behavior.
i don't get it.

you've addressed several pro6lems i have with the hemospectrum.

it se9re9ates and 6reeds contempt; sews dissension and discontent.
there's no lo9ical reason for it to exist, yet it persists 6ecause of those who'd rather perpetuate an old tradition rather than discard it like the 9ar6a9e it's worth; no 6etter reason for it aside from "it has always 6een this way" and "it should continue to 6e."

i'm not certain where it 6e9an, 6ut it 6e9an lon9 6efore my time.

i think it is sad that trolls have to put up with it when they're growing up.
on earth, we mostly do a good job protecting kids from bad things about the world.
i mean, not all the time.
but it seems like troll babies
bluh, wrigglers, whatever, they get the hemospectrum shoved in their faces from the moment they're born. hatched. whatever!
that can't be good.
no wonder so many of them are so screwed up.

not that i'm saying you are screwed up!
you are not.
karkat isn't either.
there are a lot of trolls i like just fine.

it just kind of bums me out.

you're correct. they are 9iven an identity throu9h a si9n and the color of their 6lood.
our eyes don't reveal our 6lood colors till we're older. 6efore that, they're 9ray. as wri99lers, you wouldn't normally notice, 6ut all of them are tau9ht this the same: "you are here. this is who is a6ove you. this is who is 6elow you."

with those differences hidden the way they are, it seems like it shouldn't matter for those who are youn9, yet it does. they're tau9ht it's crucial for them to know their place.
i was not tau9ht this 6ecause my custodian didn't 6elieve i was worth less than others
and i came into her care 6ecause i wasn't on the hemospectrum. thus, the lowest.
she was not a low6lood. the risk she took for me was lar9e.

as 9loomy as this topic is, you shouldn't worry.
the more i hear a6out those who come after us
the more i'm certain it will 6e as it should 6e.
not ri9ht away, 6ut pro9ress is what matters.
althou9h it may just 6e me hopin9, i think it sounds like
even thou9h it never felt like it 6ack then
and sometimes may not seem so now
perhaps those of us who came 6efore them finally did it right
and 9ave them a chance to succeed where we all failed.

you are right.

even though it is easy to get bummed out about this stuff, i try not to think about it too much.
because i really do believe that it will all be ok.
we may have to do some things along the way that aren't easy or aren't considered good, but in the end, everything is going to work out.