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jackassery2013-04-06 02:16 am
derogatory) wrote in jackassery2013-04-06 02:16 am
Entry tags:
my name is josh valjosh
Happy bday to my beautiful meimei-
four awesome parties vic and nathan threw (and one that ended terribly for everyone)
i.
There's nothing about Thanksgiving that constitutes this level of binge drinking. But Nathan argues he's not an American anyway so he'll celebrate it however he damn pleases.
Rose and Victor have retold the story of Thanksgiving four or five times now, but the trolls still aren't getting it. Dave and Nathan's snide interjections probably we're making their jobs any easier. Vriska wants to reenact the grand battle of Indians versus pilgrims, and John's so flushed with missing her he can't even be historically correct about it. They get excited enough Victor has to take Nathan out into the apartment hallway before the Irishman starts swinging at kids. Normally he'd be upset with Nathan for cussing out a group of teens, but it's been long enough in this weird, surrogate family unit that he can't afford to be mad at the entirely expected reaction from his friend.
Nathan takes another swig from the bottle and looks over at Victor, slumped against the hallway wall and laughing so hard he's not making any noise, just the stupid wheezing sound. He keeps trying to say "the hostile alien takeover" before he loses it again. The kids are shrieking and throwing shit back in the room, Nathan's drunk as fuck, and Victor looks so bloody pleased with himself it's not worth pitching a fit.
They finish the bottle off together- though half of it gets lost in a sputter when someone (Aradia maybe?) hollers from inside "FOR IRISHLAND!" and no, no, Victor laughs, that's because you kept interrupting me with random ass Ireland facts!
When Victor's sentences are half Spanish and Karkat is asking them to get the fuck back in here and get Eridan (and the cranberry sauce) off the ceiling, Nathan just flips him off. Leave them to their hallway. For them, it's a muted reaction. This holiday might not be complete garbage.
ii.
It's possible they fucked the whole rest of the year up, sulking instead of kissing someone at midnight. But there they are. There's a proper adult party inside, except Jack Harkness showed up (because what's common fucking decency to an immortal right? Why not show up at Nathan's own party?) so Nathan retreated onto the balcony. Victor was quick to join him, a social repercussion of being a gigantic socially awkward nerd.
"Did he say something about Jenny?" Victor asks, because the nerd lacks any fucking ability to read a goddamn room.
"Will you shut up? He didn't fucking have to." He rests his shoulders against the balcony railing and gives the murky water in the distance as sour a look as he can manage an island paradise. An island paradise that took his girlfriend away twice for no goddamn reason. A girlfriend who was probably two-timing him anyway, but--
"It's not like she was doing it to be a bitch at me, yeah?
"I know," Victor says, because he does. They've had this conversation enough times, usually drunker. The island has a way of making shit repeat itself. People showing up, taking off, reunions happening once, twice- bad news given more times than he's been able to count. It's beginning to dull from outright anger to basic irritation at a person's release, knowing they'll be back someday (and gone again.) His fault really for trying to date somebody in this mess.
"Maybe this place is actually hell," Nathan smirks between his fingers, glancing back at Victor with a grin that hopefully shows he's not entirely serious.
"Karolina already made the Limbo argument," Victor's smile back is tight at the corners.
"Didn't peg her the godly type- not with you running around," Victor opens his mouth to cut him off, that Limbo isn't entirely a Christian concept and oh my god, can you believe this was a party before Captain Buzzkill showed up. Nathan presses on- "No foul there, She's with her alien boyfriend now, right?" He nods.
"We're both the only people left." The party inside isn't loud enough to cover the hitch in Victor's voice. "Nobody else we know from home."
"That's why we're making new mates," he mutters, staring out over the two other apartments, the water beyond the cracks in the buildings.
"You can't just replace a team, Nathan."
Nathan remembers this moment, the second he wanted to sling an arm over Victor's shoulders. He's got too much product in his hair, so maybe run a hand through Victor's meticulously crafted hairstyle and tell him it's not so hard to be alone. That it's not like every superhero needs their team to feel worthwhile or needed. Lots of super-guys go at it solo.
He wants to do this, but it's probably too gay. He wants to say it, but it's probably not true. Being in New Moore without Simon or the others is still pretty miserable.
Nathan bumps their shoulders together until Victor starts freaking out, you are really gonna push me off this balcony that is not funny GUEY STOP
iii.
Easter's a right shit show. Yeah, Victor had the trollbrats look for eggs and wasted half the day at service and that rubbish, but he reappears in time for the party Nathan's had planned for weeks. Plenty of people show up, enough to prove Nathan's month-long campaign to convince people New Moore Easter is a three day weekend (it isn't) must've been successful. It's another no-kids party (they have better luck that way) and at one point the fit ginger Vic's into even starts dancing on the table. A success, as much of it as Nathan can remember.
He wakes up in his own bed. He's alone, which seems like a lesser disappointment to not finding Victor sleeping in the tub.
Spent the night with Lydia, he says, red to the ears. Nathan can't figure he's ever gonna get tired of wheedling details about this stuff. In the back of their mind they both get it though- she could take off like Jenny, she could disappear and reappear like her sister, she could break his heart. Watching the idiot stare dreamily at her whenever they does their weird character theater, Nathan figures he's the only one worried about that last one.
iv.
"Thirsty Thursday," Nathan leers, clinking a full glass against an empty one. "Best day of the week to drink, I say."
Victor can't even raise his head from the table. His arms, serving as a pillow, muffle his reply-
"You said that about Wednesday."
"Even more true today! Drink up, Robocop, it's good for you."
Victor twists his neck, as if trying to avoid the drink that's pushed closer to him. “You said if I took the shot you'd answer. Question."”
"I did?" Nathan raises an eyebrow, helping himself to another free pint – Lau's been easy with the liquor after the grand reopening. "What was the question again?"
"So like. Ramona." When Victor's drunk, his voice is slower, simpler, jamming up like when the wrong video you downloaded got something nasty on your computer, nastier than sexy secretaries you mean. But the robot lifts his head and looks between Nathan and the delivery girl across the room enough that Nathan can glean his general meaning.
"Just mates," Nathan assures him.
"Lydia says we're just mates-" Victor starts but NOPE, gotta take another shot, no weepy times on Thirsty Thursday. He groans and lets his skull sink back against the table with a thud, no arm to cushion it this time. Nathan's lost count of how many the kid's had to knock back for breaking that rule alone.
"You know. Raoman- Ramona. 's not gonna leave just cause you date her," Victor slurs and it's just drunk and stupid enough to be right. He's not looking up anymore, so Nathan and look anywhere else to focus on not giving into Victor's drunken gloom.
"She's here now, yeah. I get it."
"I'm here," Victor breathes and it stings like scraping his knees except it's all over, scratching out from the inside. He can still see Jenny's big eyed smile and Simon's fish eyed looks, Jamie's eyes in undivided attention. He can imagine everybody that ever showed up, that was ever there and knew him and liked him and the empty spaces they left behind. They were here too and where did it get them? Where's it gonna get anyone from hanging around him? It's stupid and maudlin; it's got no place on Thirsty Thursday parties in an opium den in Purgatory.
"Take another shot," he snaps and the glass twists in his fingers and falls and Victor screams PARTY FOUL or its equivalent in Spanish and the moment's (thankfully) lost.
v.
It's a traditional to have an end of the school year party, even if Nathan hasn't seen the inside of a school in a fair few years. Victor points out immortality will get boring eventually, maybe in the future Nathan will want to get a higher degree. Then he won't just be the creepy old guy hanging around the co-eds, but a student himself, following the noble pursuit of knowledge.
"If that happens, shoot me," he mutters, slumped over the front of the grocery cart. Victor assures him nonchalantly that of course he will, and asks do you really think we need this many solo cups?
There's not much they do to prepare for a party- buy the booze and the cups and make sure there's nothing embarrassing lying about. Still, Victor always shows up a few hours early like clockwork, which it might be, he may as well have a mother hen alarm programmed into his system. Shows up to make food for Karkat, to make the troll feel just welcome enough in his own home that he'll piss off to somebody else's for the night. Then play Smash until people arrive, maybe keep playing Smash until girls show up and Nathan can direct his attention elsewhere. Depending on the island crowd, Vic might be on video games half the night, but Nathan figures with a pseudo-girlfriend in the mix the video game times might be cut short.
This time Nathan has to kick Karkat out on his own, which is no problem- Karkat's strong but hasn't got any heavy over the years, easy to toss out. He keeps expecting Robocop to come around the corner and yell at him for abusing minors or whatever the fuck he's on about. For breaking into the booze before anybody showed up. For leaving food on the pots when he tries to cook gay ass little tapas for the party people to eat. But there's nothing and no cyborg.
To: Robocop
Subj: pizza
06/06/2013. 9.23pm
So youre not cooking? dont get veg pizza nobody lkes it and your gay
To: Robocop
Subj: No subject
06/06/2013. 9.55pm
???? is this some fucking subperhero test I need a heads up on this shit
To: Robocop
Subj: No subject
06/06/2013. 10.09pm
seriously I don't get it are you not coming caus your the one in school
To: Robocop
Subj: wtf
06/06/2013. 10.20pm
Answer the phone when I call
To: Robocop
Subj: re; wtf
06/06/2013. 10.22pm
That sounded less gay in my headcall me back.
To: Robocop
Subj: HA HA VERU FUNNY ARSEWIPE
06/06/2013. 10.54pm
WHATEVER YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS HERE ILL SAY HELLO FOR YOU IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
To: Robocop
Subj: No subject
06/06/2013. 11.08pm
I was kidding is your phone broken
To: Robocop
Subj: No subject
06/06/2013. 11.57pm
fien fuck you adn fukc robrtos
By midnight Nathan's drunk enough that when the television turns itself on, he thinks it's a football match before he hears his friend's voice through the speakers.
four awesome parties vic and nathan threw (and one that ended terribly for everyone)
i.
There's nothing about Thanksgiving that constitutes this level of binge drinking. But Nathan argues he's not an American anyway so he'll celebrate it however he damn pleases.
Rose and Victor have retold the story of Thanksgiving four or five times now, but the trolls still aren't getting it. Dave and Nathan's snide interjections probably we're making their jobs any easier. Vriska wants to reenact the grand battle of Indians versus pilgrims, and John's so flushed with missing her he can't even be historically correct about it. They get excited enough Victor has to take Nathan out into the apartment hallway before the Irishman starts swinging at kids. Normally he'd be upset with Nathan for cussing out a group of teens, but it's been long enough in this weird, surrogate family unit that he can't afford to be mad at the entirely expected reaction from his friend.
Nathan takes another swig from the bottle and looks over at Victor, slumped against the hallway wall and laughing so hard he's not making any noise, just the stupid wheezing sound. He keeps trying to say "the hostile alien takeover" before he loses it again. The kids are shrieking and throwing shit back in the room, Nathan's drunk as fuck, and Victor looks so bloody pleased with himself it's not worth pitching a fit.
They finish the bottle off together- though half of it gets lost in a sputter when someone (Aradia maybe?) hollers from inside "FOR IRISHLAND!" and no, no, Victor laughs, that's because you kept interrupting me with random ass Ireland facts!
When Victor's sentences are half Spanish and Karkat is asking them to get the fuck back in here and get Eridan (and the cranberry sauce) off the ceiling, Nathan just flips him off. Leave them to their hallway. For them, it's a muted reaction. This holiday might not be complete garbage.
ii.
It's possible they fucked the whole rest of the year up, sulking instead of kissing someone at midnight. But there they are. There's a proper adult party inside, except Jack Harkness showed up (because what's common fucking decency to an immortal right? Why not show up at Nathan's own party?) so Nathan retreated onto the balcony. Victor was quick to join him, a social repercussion of being a gigantic socially awkward nerd.
"Did he say something about Jenny?" Victor asks, because the nerd lacks any fucking ability to read a goddamn room.
"Will you shut up? He didn't fucking have to." He rests his shoulders against the balcony railing and gives the murky water in the distance as sour a look as he can manage an island paradise. An island paradise that took his girlfriend away twice for no goddamn reason. A girlfriend who was probably two-timing him anyway, but--
"It's not like she was doing it to be a bitch at me, yeah?
"I know," Victor says, because he does. They've had this conversation enough times, usually drunker. The island has a way of making shit repeat itself. People showing up, taking off, reunions happening once, twice- bad news given more times than he's been able to count. It's beginning to dull from outright anger to basic irritation at a person's release, knowing they'll be back someday (and gone again.) His fault really for trying to date somebody in this mess.
"Maybe this place is actually hell," Nathan smirks between his fingers, glancing back at Victor with a grin that hopefully shows he's not entirely serious.
"Karolina already made the Limbo argument," Victor's smile back is tight at the corners.
"Didn't peg her the godly type- not with you running around," Victor opens his mouth to cut him off, that Limbo isn't entirely a Christian concept and oh my god, can you believe this was a party before Captain Buzzkill showed up. Nathan presses on- "No foul there, She's with her alien boyfriend now, right?" He nods.
"We're both the only people left." The party inside isn't loud enough to cover the hitch in Victor's voice. "Nobody else we know from home."
"That's why we're making new mates," he mutters, staring out over the two other apartments, the water beyond the cracks in the buildings.
"You can't just replace a team, Nathan."
Nathan remembers this moment, the second he wanted to sling an arm over Victor's shoulders. He's got too much product in his hair, so maybe run a hand through Victor's meticulously crafted hairstyle and tell him it's not so hard to be alone. That it's not like every superhero needs their team to feel worthwhile or needed. Lots of super-guys go at it solo.
He wants to do this, but it's probably too gay. He wants to say it, but it's probably not true. Being in New Moore without Simon or the others is still pretty miserable.
Nathan bumps their shoulders together until Victor starts freaking out, you are really gonna push me off this balcony that is not funny GUEY STOP
iii.
Easter's a right shit show. Yeah, Victor had the trollbrats look for eggs and wasted half the day at service and that rubbish, but he reappears in time for the party Nathan's had planned for weeks. Plenty of people show up, enough to prove Nathan's month-long campaign to convince people New Moore Easter is a three day weekend (it isn't) must've been successful. It's another no-kids party (they have better luck that way) and at one point the fit ginger Vic's into even starts dancing on the table. A success, as much of it as Nathan can remember.
He wakes up in his own bed. He's alone, which seems like a lesser disappointment to not finding Victor sleeping in the tub.
Spent the night with Lydia, he says, red to the ears. Nathan can't figure he's ever gonna get tired of wheedling details about this stuff. In the back of their mind they both get it though- she could take off like Jenny, she could disappear and reappear like her sister, she could break his heart. Watching the idiot stare dreamily at her whenever they does their weird character theater, Nathan figures he's the only one worried about that last one.
iv.
"Thirsty Thursday," Nathan leers, clinking a full glass against an empty one. "Best day of the week to drink, I say."
Victor can't even raise his head from the table. His arms, serving as a pillow, muffle his reply-
"You said that about Wednesday."
"Even more true today! Drink up, Robocop, it's good for you."
Victor twists his neck, as if trying to avoid the drink that's pushed closer to him. “You said if I took the shot you'd answer. Question."”
"I did?" Nathan raises an eyebrow, helping himself to another free pint – Lau's been easy with the liquor after the grand reopening. "What was the question again?"
"So like. Ramona." When Victor's drunk, his voice is slower, simpler, jamming up like when the wrong video you downloaded got something nasty on your computer, nastier than sexy secretaries you mean. But the robot lifts his head and looks between Nathan and the delivery girl across the room enough that Nathan can glean his general meaning.
"Just mates," Nathan assures him.
"Lydia says we're just mates-" Victor starts but NOPE, gotta take another shot, no weepy times on Thirsty Thursday. He groans and lets his skull sink back against the table with a thud, no arm to cushion it this time. Nathan's lost count of how many the kid's had to knock back for breaking that rule alone.
"You know. Raoman- Ramona. 's not gonna leave just cause you date her," Victor slurs and it's just drunk and stupid enough to be right. He's not looking up anymore, so Nathan and look anywhere else to focus on not giving into Victor's drunken gloom.
"She's here now, yeah. I get it."
"I'm here," Victor breathes and it stings like scraping his knees except it's all over, scratching out from the inside. He can still see Jenny's big eyed smile and Simon's fish eyed looks, Jamie's eyes in undivided attention. He can imagine everybody that ever showed up, that was ever there and knew him and liked him and the empty spaces they left behind. They were here too and where did it get them? Where's it gonna get anyone from hanging around him? It's stupid and maudlin; it's got no place on Thirsty Thursday parties in an opium den in Purgatory.
"Take another shot," he snaps and the glass twists in his fingers and falls and Victor screams PARTY FOUL or its equivalent in Spanish and the moment's (thankfully) lost.
v.
It's a traditional to have an end of the school year party, even if Nathan hasn't seen the inside of a school in a fair few years. Victor points out immortality will get boring eventually, maybe in the future Nathan will want to get a higher degree. Then he won't just be the creepy old guy hanging around the co-eds, but a student himself, following the noble pursuit of knowledge.
"If that happens, shoot me," he mutters, slumped over the front of the grocery cart. Victor assures him nonchalantly that of course he will, and asks do you really think we need this many solo cups?
There's not much they do to prepare for a party- buy the booze and the cups and make sure there's nothing embarrassing lying about. Still, Victor always shows up a few hours early like clockwork, which it might be, he may as well have a mother hen alarm programmed into his system. Shows up to make food for Karkat, to make the troll feel just welcome enough in his own home that he'll piss off to somebody else's for the night. Then play Smash until people arrive, maybe keep playing Smash until girls show up and Nathan can direct his attention elsewhere. Depending on the island crowd, Vic might be on video games half the night, but Nathan figures with a pseudo-girlfriend in the mix the video game times might be cut short.
This time Nathan has to kick Karkat out on his own, which is no problem- Karkat's strong but hasn't got any heavy over the years, easy to toss out. He keeps expecting Robocop to come around the corner and yell at him for abusing minors or whatever the fuck he's on about. For breaking into the booze before anybody showed up. For leaving food on the pots when he tries to cook gay ass little tapas for the party people to eat. But there's nothing and no cyborg.
To: Robocop
Subj: pizza
06/06/2013. 9.23pm
So youre not cooking? dont get veg pizza nobody lkes it and your gay
To: Robocop
Subj: No subject
06/06/2013. 9.55pm
???? is this some fucking subperhero test I need a heads up on this shit
To: Robocop
Subj: No subject
06/06/2013. 10.09pm
seriously I don't get it are you not coming caus your the one in school
To: Robocop
Subj: wtf
06/06/2013. 10.20pm
Answer the phone when I call
To: Robocop
Subj: re; wtf
06/06/2013. 10.22pm
That sounded less gay in my headcall me back.
To: Robocop
Subj: HA HA VERU FUNNY ARSEWIPE
06/06/2013. 10.54pm
WHATEVER YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS HERE ILL SAY HELLO FOR YOU IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
To: Robocop
Subj: No subject
06/06/2013. 11.08pm
I was kidding is your phone broken
To: Robocop
Subj: No subject
06/06/2013. 11.57pm
fien fuck you adn fukc robrtos
By midnight Nathan's drunk enough that when the television turns itself on, he thinks it's a football match before he hears his friend's voice through the speakers.